Seeking information is determined mostly by the way it is phrased than the person behind the questions.
Testing this hypothesis with multiple instances, I realized that
any query with a moving intent to act or an expressed desire to prepare
for action will always get the most factual details of the
situation.Embedding a self interest in other's story as being
compassionate and a keen listener gets the emotional side of the
details.
On the other side, if the phrase is provided as a question and the
way it is asked looks reactive or gives the perception that it is to
self dodge a prospective situation or if the impression is of using it
to own an advantage that is different from the groups objectives, will
result invariably in push-backs or a laid back answer.
Many a time, senior people demonstrate this maturity by asking "Why
do you ask?" and then give answers. Probably we can use it too. In the
mean time, practicing phrases that demonstrates an innate desire to act
or just the mere efforts to listen intently as an emotional shoulder,
would help us break barriers to get intimate with the details and
information desired.